Mercy

The other day I found myself after falling for what felt like the 100th time that hour saying to God, “Thank you for grace but I really wish I could do better and not rely on it so much.” Or in other words, “I am better than this and I should be able to stand on my own by now. So thanks for the help but…” My intentions were to say to God, I love you and I should be more obedient by now, and I will try harder next time to be perfect. But what really showed up in my thinking was a belittling of what Christ did on the cross. In that one thought I had put myself above grace. Paul knew this. In 2nd Corinthians 12 Paul goes to great length to point out his failings. The thorn in his flesh is not there to punish him but to show through his weakness that the power of the Cross was sufficient and in him. God fully remembers that we are clay. His provision on the cross of His own son proves that he knows how to deal with that issue very well. Through our failings his grace is made manifest to the world. So what is the application of this? Should I fail often so grace may abound? (Stop me if you have read this in Romans.) Heaven forbid. Grace is definitely not a license to sin. If I am being rebellious then I need to deal with that ASAP. However, if I do sin then there is provision and I should embrace it. Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is of such magnitude that if we claim to not want to tap into it (lest we drink in to much), or deny that we need it (showing a lack of understanding of our sin), or worse still, say we are beyond forgiveness (denying the cross full stop), then we don’t allow the Creator’s love for us to make its presence known. Shame on me if I don’t embrace Jesus when he lifts me to my feet after I have fallen. There is one final reason for my non-reliance thinking, and please hear me well on this one. The manifestation of God’s grace in me can only be when I give mercy. I don’t want mercy at times because I don’t want to give it. The full power of the Cross is shown to the world when as a Christian I embrace my failings, surrender them to God, accept forgiveness and then act as a conduit for that forgiveness to others. Why, brothers and sisters, do we suffer with guilt and shame so much? Because we expect it in others. How dare she walk around with such arrogance? I’m surprised that he can show his face in public. He better not come over here I’ll give him a piece of my mind (like we have a piece worth giving). And I am the chief abuser. In my mind, I don’t want to forgive people, or show them in their best light for fear that I will suffer for it. We worry so much about grace abuse that we abuse the very one who called us from sin in the first place. Christ made it very clear that those who wish mercy need to show mercy. So please join with me this month and show mercy at every opportunity that you can. And if you fail, remember that through your weakness he is strong. You just might receive mercy from an unexpected source.